Thursday, February 23, 2006


A good friend would be happy

So J, my best friend, has hinted that he is going to be getting married. As his best friend I should be competely ecstatic for him and yet I can't seem to make myself be. See here is the deal we are the same age, I am two weeks older, and our lives are pretty much the same. We go to the same ward, we both work full time and we both go to school. We have been inseparable for a little of a year and within 4 weeks my world has completely changes. J met a girl, A, and now they are inseparable and I am an after thought. We have near gone longer then 12 hrs without talking to each other and this week alone he has forgotten me two days in a row. See I want to be happy that he has found the love of his life and I would be except I have been wanted to get married for years now and he didn't even want to go on a date until he graduated. I have been dating and he has been on one date in the past three years. I guess I am just jealous because things seem to be handed to him. He has never really had to work for anything. When he wanted a new job the opportunity was given, his future wife was handed to him and when he needed a new car the perfect deal came up. For me I have worked hard for everything. I have put in resumes and gone out every day for weeks looking for a new job, I have had to work my butt off to find a car that I can afford, I go on a date, It seems to be going well and then the guy never calls me again. I cant seem to pull myself out of this rut of negativity. I have tried praying, reading my scriptures, being alone, pretending I am ok . Yet nothing works , How do I make myself get over these feelings and learn to be happy for him? I really want to be a good friend. I hate being "a girl" and yet that is where I am . Help

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