Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Now or Never

Ok, two posts ago I told a lovely little story about a guy that I was lusting after, well let me update.
The week after the hay ride I went to Fhe, I must admit I only went for this certain guy, Anyhow we were decorating Gingerbread houses and as far as I knew things were going well. Then he gets a phone call and decides to leave FHE and why you ask, well because of a girl or as he said a Lady. Anyhow so I am a bit bummed because I though that was my last opportunity. Well This past weekend I sang with the institute choir in our Christmas show, little did I know that he would be performing with the folk dancers.

Thursday night is dress rehearsal and I am not having a great night. I have a cold I am tired, I felt fat, I hated my outfit, and was just not having a good time. Well I walk off the stage and it is pitch dark and I hear a guy say HI Reah, I have to admit I was shocked. I thought it was my friend Chris but as my eyes adjust a bit more I realize it isn't him. I try to see who it is but then I just end up asking who it is. He tells me that is it B and I am like oh hi. I walk away, I blow it I cant believe I couldn't talk to him. The whole time I am thinking " He knows my name, He knows my name." Then I become suspicious and think that someone must have told him that I was interested in him because he has never said my name before.

Well Friday I decided that I am going to make up for being an idiot. Have you ever planned something out in your mind but when you go to do it you fail miserably? Well that is what happened. I wanted to wish him good luck before the show but I couldn't find him. During the show he was so busy running to change I couldn't talk to him then. So I have to wait until after the performance. I tell him what a great job he has done and then I cant say anything else so I walk away. Well then we have a cast party. I was all about talking to him, hoping that we could spend the rest of the weekend together. Well there never happened to be an opportunity so Again it is blown. Saturday comes and I tell him good luck again. This time he ignores me.. I have screwed up royally.

I then make myself a promise that At church I will talk to him and ask him out. Sunday morning comes and he isn't at church.. I have to take drastic measures. After church I get his number and decide right then that I will be calling him. At 4 pm I pick up the phone and call, It rings and rings. The whole time I am hoping that he wont answer, and he doesn't. I am disappointed.

I leave a message and it sounds horrible, one because I am sick and can barely talk and the second because I was so nervous. Well nine comes and goes and he still hasn't called me back.. He must be sick or I called the wrong number. I call a girl, his best friend, and ask her if I have called the right number. She asks me to hold on and then I hear her asking a guy if he had his phone, he says he does, I thought it was her fiance.. Oh no it is B.. She then repetitively tells me to call him. I explain that I have left a message and he will call me when he is ready. She wont let up and I can hear him in the back ground asking who it is.

I have to call him now. So I call, the phone rings and rings, I am preparing to leave a message and then he answers. Well after that I make a fool of myself and then I ask him out. He agrees. Now I am wishing that I hadn't. What if he was just being nice? What if he wasn't interested he was just being friendly.. All these questions are going around in my head and I cant make them stop.. I am trying not to think about it much but I don't want to fail.. Anyhow My fate with him will be decided Friday.. I will let you know how things go..

Oh yeah my mom, that I haven't seen in 19 yrs, and my sister are flying out this weekend.. I am nervous and scared.. Pray for me.

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