Thursday, December 29, 2005


General thoughts

Its thursday, the day before my mom and sister fly home and I realize that I will have to wait atleast another 6 months before I see them again. I didn't think that two weeks would change my life this much. It is almost like I depend on them being there, which is hard for me to admit. Mostly because I am very independant and don't really like to need anyone. Anyhow so I am thinking about what my sister is going to do. See she is 17 and I think at this age family is important. I love her and want her to be happy but I dont really think she truly is. How do you help a teenager be happy?

Anyhow I am also thinking about B.. See he comes back home tomorrow and I keep wondering when he will call me. I wonder if he is even intrested and if he isn't how ackward things will be at church. This is the first time that I have thought about being with someone for eternity.. I know I have only been on one date with the guy! However, my thought process about the whole relationship is different from any that I have had before.. Not to be weird but I haven't thought about kissing him or what will happen when he tries. But I think about meeting his family and how nice it will be to look over the alter and realize that he really wants to marry me.

Ok, so I sound really desperate I get that but I am not really. Ok on to a new subject.. I know I am speaking the evil word here but school starts in just over a week and I am not really ready. My mom just spent at least 90$ on my math book.. Is math really that important? I dont really think so but 90$ dollars that is more then my car payment. Good thing I dont have to buy a book every month I may drop out. Anyhow School should be intresting this semester. I barley passed my math with an A.. I know you all think I must be crazy but I am a high achiever I want to have straight A's I cant help it. Which is quite funny really because while I was in HS or JH for that matter I didn't care about grades at all.

I guess because nothing else in my life seems to be going the way I want I finally have something I can control. Also NO ONE else, except for me, can pass these classes for me.

Anyhow I am done just some ramblings that where floating through my head.. Have a wonderful New Years and be safe.


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