Thursday, October 20, 2005


A new way of thinking

So its almost the weekend and I haven't written for a while. I Am going on two dates this weekend, both with the same guy. Friday night we will be meeting and going Ice skating. He is driving to my town but he told me that I had to plan the evening, does this mean I am responsible to pay? I guess I will take money just in case , However, my co-worker said that because it is the first date that he should have to pay. I agree. Then if we get along and he doesn't want to kill me then we will be playing pool in his town on Saturday night. I am really nervous because I think I like this guy. I know I go through men like I do dirty socks but I just haven't found one that is as intrested in me as I am with him.

An update about Gregg, he is madly in love with the girl he decided to date after me. So on to other guys. Jake that is what he has me call him, if I could I would call him Jacob, but it seems to bother him. Anyhow I like him but am completly worried. I sent him a picture of me which I hate. See it has my sisters, who are both very cute and myself in it. Next to them I look like a blimp and to make matters worse my baby sister(I say this lightly because she will kill me when she reads this, she is almost 17) Is super gorgeous.

Anyhow since he has seen the picture he has been a bit different. I am expecting the worse, and by this I mean that an hour or two before we will be going out he will call me and make up an excuse as to why we cant get together. This is my luck so I expect that worse, but hope for the best. I really do want this to work out. Before the picture he was making future plans with me now if we get throught friday things will be good.

Anyhow I decided last night that I will no longer let what boys or men think of me affect my feelings about myself. I cant stand the emotional rollercoaster that I seem to be on when I am dating.

If this doesn't work out I will be giving up the dating scene so that I can continue to make myself what I want to be. That includes in no particular order, losing 50 pounds, finishing school, getting my house in order, that includes the painting, and last but not least, figuring out where my spirituallity lies.

Well I must be off I have a midterm in Sign Language..
Sheena Thanks for the great advice I love you.

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