Thursday, October 13, 2005
A life of celibacy
What am I doing wrong, I have tried being aggressive, submissive, flirty, and every other type a girl I can be and yet nothing works for me. It is a no win situation. If I wait for a guy to pursue me then I will never get a date. I have tried the internet thing, that is where I met "Gregg". And still here I am single and alone. Will this torture never end?
I want to be married with 5 kids. I want to wake up every morning and go to bed everynight with some man by myside and yet it seems that this is just an evil trick.. Here, your so close to your goal but NO this is not what was suppose to happen. So once again my heart breaks just a bit more.
I cried when I read his email. I am not sure why but tears streaming down my face, Why you ask? Because all I could think, Is it was my fault, I did something stupid, there must be something wrong with me.
Never again will I kiss a guy who isn't attached to my hip. Never again will I think that this is perfect until I know that it is. My heart is under lock and key until some guy will be willing to work hard to find the key that fits..
ok Enough feeling sorry for myself, I must pull myself together and work.. Later
Love, Sheena Marie